[娱乐] [转帖]倒霉蛋的31件衰事

LuckyXiaowen

<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;"><font face="宋体">倒霉蛋的</font></span><b><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">31</span></font></b><b><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">件衰事</span></font></b><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;"><br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　我很衰，不只是我自己倒霉，就连谁对我好或者我对谁好，谁都会倒霉。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">- 管庄|常营|社区论坛|业主论坛|柏林爱乐|鑫兆佳园|朝阳区|北京 - bbs.myberlin.cn2 S6 C9 Z) t7 S+ g" c) \
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">1.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">出生的时候，刚好赶上了接生护士失恋，我由于没在第一时间哭出声来，结果被她一顿暴打。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
; Z! L" b7 b, L( a0 o' {                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">2.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">一岁的时候，刚学会爬着走路，满屋子爬，结果在我的床下摸到了一个老鼠夹。据说那个老鼠夹买回来两年了，一只老鼠没夹着，第一次夹到的就是我的手。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
+ b& \( |+ l  m7 K1 ~2 obbs.myberlin.cn                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">3.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">两岁的时候，我学会了走路。在家里和爸妈捉迷藏。我躲在我的床下，结果踩到了另一个老鼠夹。据说这个老鼠夹买回来三年了，第一次夹到的就是我的腿。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">柏林爱乐,柏林爱乐论坛,bbs,myberlin.cn,社区,业主,管庄,常营,鑫兆佳园,朝阳区,北京市1 \$ r, Z$ X/ m3 k" s' p, n
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">4.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">三岁的时候，我想下楼梯。隔壁的张老太说要牵我下楼梯</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">免得摔着。结果话没说完，她就直接摔下楼梯了。从四楼顺着楼梯摔到了一楼，直接跨入老年痴呆阶段。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">4 }; t/ S- \+ T2 C+ H4 C1 E
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">5.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">四岁的时候，警察叔叔牵我过马路，我还没说谢谢。他就被辆摩托车撞到了马路对面，一级残疾。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">; o# s6 H8 z5 {, d# n+ J+ f0 Q' i5 \& V
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">6.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">五岁的时候，爸爸送我去幼儿园。幼儿园阿姨夸我长得很漂亮</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">话刚说完，五楼就掉了个花瓶下来，直接命中了阿姨的头盖骨。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">8 j3 g. e- E6 Y2 Z( h; C  K
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">7.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">六岁的时候，第一次上动物园。我说，那头公熊猫比那头母熊猫好看。第二天，那头被我夸我的熊猫死于难产。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
8 ~$ e! d; c2 v+ e( P) @) k4 D( x柏林爱乐论坛 Berlin Philharmonic                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">8.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">七岁的时候，我上了小学。期末考试，数学老师说我考了</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">59</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">分</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">就算</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">60</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">分好了。第二天，数学老师死于车祸。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
1 [3 {$ S+ Y8 @% ~1 l- 管庄|常营|社区论坛|业主论坛|柏林爱乐|鑫兆佳园|朝阳区|北京 - bbs.myberlin.cn                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">9.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">八岁的时候，我夸我们班那位女生长得好漂亮。五分钟后，这位女生赶上了罕见的流星雨。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
% |1 p. V  f- [                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">10.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">九岁的时候</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">我学会了抢劫。我拦路抢劫了一个五岁的小朋友。结果被他一顿暴打。他自称是少林寺俗家弟子。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">  @( y/ r( |4 u& Q" M
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">11.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十岁的时候，我和小胖一块上厕所。小胖夸我上厕所的样子真帅</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">我正准备说谢谢，小胖已经掉进了厕所。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">bbs.myberlin.cn( m" p% T4 O9 d+ v; [( y' t9 L7 k! C
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">12.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十一岁的时候，老师问我三七等于多少。我说三七二十一。老师说，你真聪明，话没说完死于心脏病。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">bbs.myberlin.cn/ ^4 t+ q6 s; t' K9 |
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">13.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十二岁的时候，小学毕业考试。监考老师对我说，快抓紧时间</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">时间不多了。我说，谢谢老师的提醒。刚说完，老师头顶的电风扇掉落了</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">...... <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">14.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十三岁的时候</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">我读初中了。我之前的经历吓得没人敢和我接近。只有一个号称大胆的王姓同学跟我说了一句：我不相信你会这么背，当天下午，王大胆被两头公牛追了八条街。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">柏林爱乐论坛 bbs.myberlin.cn  服务于北京朝阳区管庄,常营柏林爱乐社区所有业主的交流平台0 Q! b( z" V, P1 Y* `: r# [
                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">15.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十四岁的时候，老师要我们写作文，题目叫</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">&lt;</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">我们的大桥</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">&gt; </span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">。我在作文里提到：城里的那座大桥很雄伟</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">.......</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">第二天，我去上课的时候，发现那座大桥突然倒塌了。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">
9 y7 ^- J8 x! c柏林爱乐论坛 bbs.myberlin.cn  服务于北京朝阳区管庄,常营柏林爱乐社区所有业主的交流平台                        <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">16.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十五岁的时候，我喜欢上了一个女孩。我不敢说出来，怕害了她。可我控制不了自己，终于我挑了个晴朗天气在学校空旷的操场上跟她表白。</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">据天气预报说，当天绝对不会有流星雨。可当我表白后，地震发生了，我看着这位女孩哭着掉进了裂层中</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">...... <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">17.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十六岁的时候</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">我读高中了。我喜欢上了踢足球</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">,</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">对方守门员夸我球踢得不错。于是，球门突然倒塌了</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">...... <br/><br/></span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">　　</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">18.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">十七岁的时候，我跟着人群去观摩跳楼实景。结果，我被他压在了身下</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">......</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">两个月后，我和他双双出院</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">.</span></font><font color="#000000" size="1"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black;">在住院部门口，他对我说谢谢我救了他。于是，他被另一个跳楼的压在了身下，这次他没能幸免于难</span></font><font face="ˎ̥" color="#000000" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: ˎ̥;">...... <br/></span></font>

LuckyXiaowen

我也很奇怪怎么少了13件。可能是因为13不吉利，所以就留了18条，意为“要发”～～